Draft comments in bullet points

I. You should have the  inner strength and maturity and self-knowledge to
avoid getting upset at a man who does what most women say they want:
a man who follows his word, a man who  doesn't try to jump into
f*cking first thing, a man who cares about STDs.

II. I've literally had a woman get upset (although she was mature enough to
handle it reasonable well without getting carried away in her upset
mood) that I was not ready to have intercourse on our first in
person encounter. This is despite the fact that she herself had
mentioned she would not be ready for this the first time. But I did
not rub her nose in it, because I'm not here to put down partners; I
may enjoy 'erotic  humiliation' but not put-downs, so I very gently
mentioned that. Well, she said, she didn't know back then that she'd
feel this way right now...

III. It's not just STDs, it's also emotional intimacy that is (ok,
in almost all cases) that recommends against going there too
soon, even in a vanilla relationship. In D/s, there are many other
additional reasons why I want to explore many other things first, and here
'explore' doesn't just mean physically with you (though it does mean
this in part) but also as in: "explore the D/s terrain of
possibilities and compatibilities and your mind"

IV. This does not rule out (if we reach that point) being powerfully
sexual in D/s explorations in our early and yes, first time, there
are many ways of being almost completely safe in terms of physically
(STDs) and in terms of intimacy. When we reach the relevant point,
, I will of course share my records: no STDs at all (maybe on my mouth
a cold sore years ago is the only exception) and will expect to see
yours, then or else in the near future. There are activities we can
engage in that are very pleasurable and intense, before I have your
full record however. And those are the sexual ones on top of the
also pleasurable mind-body-emotion  states of being that can be
reached through touch, massage, spankings and so forth even in a not
very sexual context (And if you're read much of the rest of the website
you'll know my interests lie in "both-and" and not in "either-or" in
this case..)

V. It's probably the last thing that would pop into your mind in a
list of positive attributes for a Male Dom but here it is (and "you'd
better sit down for this") but female qualities. ("OMG! Panaeros is
secretly a lesbian woman!" you're thinking) Well I'm male/male-born
but there is a grain of truth to that notion, so to speak. The 'secret
formula' (it's not a "secret weapon" since the sub and I are on the
same team, not opposite teams) simply is being born? with part a
lesbian brain and another part a very male type of passion (and
libido). Why is that a magic formula?  Well, in heterosexual relations
isn't it so often true that "the male needs it more badly" that gives
the woman (for better or for worse for him and for her) much of the
power in that exchange? Imagine a man who is highly sexual and
sexually charged but who, in a reversal, not only needs intercourse
less than you, but needs other things less than you...Still loves
these and other things, still loves the interactions with you but
enjoys long (even multi-hour) "simmer" arousal and stays in control
while taking you (and him) to new heights of arousal or to new places,
or both.. (Aside: My subs don't have to 'stay in control' except of
course under my loving control; they get to orgasm more than once
— when they earn it, and they do earn it — if they
naturally are able, a second kind that can only come once, and I help
them discover they are capable of multiple orgasms, a third kind I
have not had, but if I will be with such a woman, I'll teach her to
enjoy their own 'simmer' arousal before a single well earned orgasm)

VI. For example, there are 100 things to do before we need to go to me
receiving oral sex at all, but on that subject, I enjoy that yes, but (I
was just born this way? I don't take credit for it, I guess I am
just built this way, including mentally how I'm built) so I need it
less...so I have more control...which I use not "against" you but
for the D/s dynamic, in deep respect for the submissive woman's
passion and her gift of submitting and her extreme vulnerable
openness. But you must be mature enough to receive the gift of my own
abilities and inclinations. It's not to torment you in any bad way,
but only in a good way, and much of the time not to torment you at
all, but to help make things better, and the experience a deeper
one. Do not let those voices in your head tell you this is a
criticism of you as a woman that I need this less or that I need
that less, take it as an opportunity to grow as a sub. Example:
making you beg to orally worship me and letting you kiss me there
through my underwear, then pausing (or a short or long interlude of
other activities) then kissing me with my underwear off but 
not allowed to lick, only allowed to kiss there. And from time to
time allowing you or ordering you to play with yourself. It is you
who will be taken to heights of arousal so a part of you really
really wants to go to the next step but....not yet...this is not
negative torment, this is to let you reach higher and higher states
of arousal (as well as for many other D/s related reasons which can
be discussed in another essay or in person with you but a simple
over-used term is "it's for your training" and for the deepening
bond, and deepening mutual understanding, and much more, between the
two of us)

VII. To add to the earlier aside to clarify: no I am not into
permanent or even semi-permanent "orgasm denial" for women. In fact I
delight in helping a woman who thought she cannot have multiple
orgasms, discover she can. And if that's not you, don't worry, no
pressure, one can have one or no 'full' orgasms and have hours of
bliss all the same..though I'll try to lead you to even better than
that mere bliss... It's about something else. It's because even women
who are very multi orgasmic (so having one or several does not ruin or
prevent her from having even more) even she would be losing out a lot
of the 'training', a lot of the new D/s mental terrain, not just
because it can be physically more powerful when you delay it. Yes, we
all know about that..but there are many other additional reasons that
go beyond the purely "higher physical pleasure" reason. We are
exploring mental, emotional, psychological states, yearnings,
half-conscious desires, states of mind, inner taboos, inner chains you
have put (often with society's encouragement) around your own
sexuality, and more). Yes I realize I've gone back and forth between
    "you" and "her", it's just a draft, and it's my website so, no
    complaints and enjoy the other sections, ok? ;-)

Back to Who is Panaeros?