Draft comments in bullet points I. You should have the inner strength and maturity and self-knowledge to avoid getting upset at a man who does what most women say they want: a man who follows his word, a man who doesn't try to jump into f*cking first thing, a man who cares about STDs. II. I've literally had a woman get upset (although she was mature enough to handle it reasonable well without getting carried away in her upset mood) that I was not ready to have intercourse on our first in person encounter. This is despite the fact that she herself had mentioned she would not be ready for this the first time. But I did not rub her nose in it, because I'm not here to put down partners; I may enjoy 'erotic humiliation' but not put-downs, so I very gently mentioned that. Well, she said, she didn't know back then that she'd feel this way right now... III. It's not just STDs, it's also emotional intimacy that is (ok, in almost all cases) that recommends against going there too soon, even in a vanilla relationship. In D/s, there are many other additional reasons why I want to explore many other things first, and here 'explore' doesn't just mean physically with you (though it does mean this in part) but also as in: "explore the D/s terrain of possibilities and compatibilities and your mind" IV. This does not rule out (if we reach that point) being powerfully sexual in D/s explorations in our early and yes, first time, there are many ways of being almost completely safe in terms of physically (STDs) and in terms of intimacy. When we reach the relevant point, , I will of course share my records: no STDs at all (maybe on my mouth a cold sore years ago is the only exception) and will expect to see yours, then or else in the near future. There are activities we can engage in that are very pleasurable and intense, before I have your full record however. And those are the sexual ones on top of the also pleasurable mind-body-emotion states of being that can be reached through touch, massage, spankings and so forth even in a not very sexual context (And if you're read much of the rest of the website you'll know my interests lie in "both-and" and not in "either-or" in this case..) V. It's probably the last thing that would pop into your mind in a list of positive attributes for a Male Dom but here it is (and "you'd better sit down for this") but female qualities. ("OMG! Panaeros is secretly a lesbian woman!" you're thinking) Well I'm male/male-born but there is a grain of truth to that notion, so to speak. The 'secret formula' (it's not a "secret weapon" since the sub and I are on the same team, not opposite teams) simply is being born? with part a lesbian brain and another part a very male type of passion (and libido). Why is that a magic formula? Well, in heterosexual relations isn't it so often true that "the male needs it more badly" that gives the woman (for better or for worse for him and for her) much of the power in that exchange? Imagine a man who is highly sexual and sexually charged but who, in a reversal, not only needs intercourse less than you, but needs other things less than you...Still loves these and other things, still loves the interactions with you but enjoys long (even multi-hour) "simmer" arousal and stays in control while taking you (and him) to new heights of arousal or to new places, or both.. (Aside: My subs don't have to 'stay in control' except of course under my loving control; they get to orgasm more than once — when they earn it, and they do earn it — if they naturally are able, a second kind that can only come once, and I help them discover they are capable of multiple orgasms, a third kind I have not had, but if I will be with such a woman, I'll teach her to enjoy their own 'simmer' arousal before a single well earned orgasm) VI. For example, there are 100 things to do before we need to go to me receiving oral sex at all, but on that subject, I enjoy that yes, but (I was just born this way? I don't take credit for it, I guess I am just built this way, including mentally how I'm built) so I need it less...so I have more control...which I use not "against" you but for the D/s dynamic, in deep respect for the submissive woman's passion and her gift of submitting and her extreme vulnerable openness. But you must be mature enough to receive the gift of my own abilities and inclinations. It's not to torment you in any bad way, but only in a good way, and much of the time not to torment you at all, but to help make things better, and the experience a deeper one. Do not let those voices in your head tell you this is a criticism of you as a woman that I need this less or that I need that less, take it as an opportunity to grow as a sub. Example: making you beg to orally worship me and letting you kiss me there through my underwear, then pausing (or a short or long interlude of other activities) then kissing me with my underwear off but not allowed to lick, only allowed to kiss there. And from time to time allowing you or ordering you to play with yourself. It is you who will be taken to heights of arousal so a part of you really really wants to go to the next step but....not yet...this is not negative torment, this is to let you reach higher and higher states of arousal (as well as for many other D/s related reasons which can be discussed in another essay or in person with you but a simple over-used term is "it's for your training" and for the deepening bond, and deepening mutual understanding, and much more, between the two of us) VII. To add to the earlier aside to clarify: no I am not into permanent or even semi-permanent "orgasm denial" for women. In fact I delight in helping a woman who thought she cannot have multiple orgasms, discover she can. And if that's not you, don't worry, no pressure, one can have one or no 'full' orgasms and have hours of bliss all the same..though I'll try to lead you to even better than that mere bliss... It's about something else. It's because even women who are very multi orgasmic (so having one or several does not ruin or prevent her from having even more) even she would be losing out a lot of the 'training', a lot of the new D/s mental terrain, not just because it can be physically more powerful when you delay it. Yes, we all know about that..but there are many other additional reasons that go beyond the purely "higher physical pleasure" reason. We are exploring mental, emotional, psychological states, yearnings, half-conscious desires, states of mind, inner taboos, inner chains you have put (often with society's encouragement) around your own sexuality, and more). Yes I realize I've gone back and forth between "you" and "her", it's just a draft, and it's my website so, no complaints and enjoy the other sections, ok? ;-)