A writer sends Panaeros an email...

I was pleasantly surprised one day to receive this email from a writer of novels..quoting her using her then pseudonym or nom de plume...

Date: Dec 20 1997
To: Panaeros

I am a writer researching the BDSM lifestyle for a mainstream

Most web sites provide facts and attitudes. Yours delved into the
heart and mind.  I've been having a difficult time understand the
inner needs and desires of both Doms and submissives.  Being an
essential element of the book, I had to go deeper than the stereo
typical imagery of BDSM.  I needed psychological insight which you
revealed within your prose and your outlook.  I just wanted to say
thank you.  You've been a great help.


I wrote her back, thanking her for her kind words, and also asking if she wouldn't mind sharing a bit more background. Her response follows.

To: Panaeros
Subject: Re: novel

Dear Panaeros,

Thank you for your response to my comments.  I didn't expect a reply.
So, in turn, you too have surprised me.  In fact, the entire D/s world
has been somewhat of a shock.  To be honest, my original idea for
the book was to put BDSM in an unfavorable light.  Now, in all good
conscience I can't. Like you had said, these are real
people... people from different walks of life... people who take
eroticism to levels most can't comprehend. Also, I have found
submissives that I have interviewed (only 3 so far) to be very
intelligent, together people.  I've also interviewed 2 Doms, (1 in an
on line chat, the other through email) and both had an old-world
chivalry about them.  After only a few minutes, my knees stopped
shaking and I remembered to breathe.  I guess, I had expected them to
be domineering bullies.  I found that all my preconceived conceptions
were completely wrong. I suddenly realized that like in any other area
of life, there are good people and bad ones.

Still, even the interviews didn't provide me with as much insight
as your web page.  The subs and Doms gave me the stereotype
superficial images that I could get from books.  You, on the other
hand, allowed me a glimpse into another world.  Again, I am grateful
for that, and I also appreciate your interest in my book as well as
your willingness to share your point of view.  I can use all the help
I can get.  I want to be able to get inside the characters' heads, and
the only way I can do that is to understand this erotic lifestyle.  I
also want my characters to be real.  Just the information you supplied
in your email has helped tremendously with that.  The woman with
cancer... The woman who had taken in a crack baby...  WOW! You are a
writer's dream: a person willing to open up and share beyond the

Usually, I don't get quite this in depth.  I do an interview or two
and I have what I need.  I can feel the characters, and know how they
will react.  BDSM, though, is just so different from my tidy vanilla
world, that I have had a difficult time conceptionalizing.  Yet, in
the same way that I find it fascinating in the vein of forbidden
fruit, I believe others will as well.  One of the Doms I had
interviewed has been urging me to experiment.  He thinks the only way
I'll understand it all, is to experience it. I'm dedicated, but I'm
not THAT dedicated, despite the appeal.  At least, I hope I'm not.

It was really wonderful hearing from you, and if you have any
questions about my work, please do not hesitate to ask.  I look
forward to hearing from you again.

Be well,


PS My web page (an ad for my first publication), needs updating, for I
have a double romance coming out in the very near future, however, it
will give you an idea of my writing style.

(Unfortunately this is no longer a working website) .